Death that took my father.

Death gives absolutely no warnings; it gives no day, date, time or location. I never in my life thought I would see the day "Death" would visit my family and I, but it did on the 2nd of June, 2010. Death came this day and took my only father , my grand father Chief Emmanuel Oladehinde Coker (JP).

When people I know lose a loved one, I tell them "I can’t say I know how you feel because I honestly don’t ". Today I can say I know how it feels to lose a loved one, how it is to lose a mentor, a hero, a guardian, a provider, an adviser a father, my very own grandfather. It‘s a horrible feeling, a hurt that words cannot define and a scar that would take only the grace of the almighty God to heal. Everyone says he is old and he has lived a great life. I do not dispute that, but daddy was way too much a part of our lives that we cannot just immediately accept he is gone. Daddy was not ill, showed absolutely no signs of a person that would give up the ghost anytime soon. Shock is an understatement for the way I feel, words cannot even describe it. Just last week I spoke with daddy, and all he emphasized was “I will send you something, don’t worry" and I smiled because that was a very typical line from daddy to me.

God, I wish I was able to talk to you on Monday, they said you were asleep daddy! How would I have known you would be leaving us on Wednesday? God knows every part of my existence is hurt and tears have become a very good friend of mine. You are the father I have had and known all my life,

Daddy, you promised to attend my graduation next year, Daddy, you were supposed to walk me down the aisle,

Daddy, you were supposed to hold my child in your hands and give it a name,

Daddy, you were supposed to be here and watch me become a woman, a wife and a mother.

Daddy you promised to send something to me, and you never got to,

Daddy I never thought you would live just like that without an opportunity to even say a proper goodbye.

Oh God! My dear Grandmother, I bet she would give anything right now to serve you tea in the morning, make your brunch, lunch, pre supper, and supper. After waking up by your side for the past 50 something years of her life loving and serving you.

I wonder how Oladehinde Coker street would be able to bear your loss, just walking down that street every evening and you’re not up on that balcony to wave your hands to passersby anymore. Daddy, you always picked the house phone on the first ring, first you yell our name and next you yell 'Iya Olu". It broke my heart to call the house and hear Iya Olu herself pick the phone on the first ring with nothing but brokeness in her voice.

Enough said, because I cannot say it all.I am eternally greatful to the almighty creator, the immortal, invisible and only wise God, the almighty God that brought you to this earth to give us all life, and took you after you have fullfilled his purpose. To the glory of God you lived a very purposeful and fulfilled life. Daddy you have lived life to the fullest, you have accomplished it all. From the stories you told us, you started as a nobody, but God lifted you and made you a somebody. You have lived to see you children, and grand children succeed in life. You were a father figure to so many others. You taught us the importance of being close with one’s family, you taught us to beware of friends because no one can really be trusted. You taught us to be fearless and you always blessed us and said it will be well with us. God has used you to bless so many lives including your own family. You have left a legacy, a name that would never ever be forgotten by so many. Indeed daddy, you have lived a good life. You are a rare gem of inestimable value; you are a hero, our very own hero.

My Father, My Grandfather, Baba mi Emmanuel,Oladehinde Oladipupo Coker(JP) aka E.O, Baba Coker, Baba Olu, Babanbunmi, Aaadaddyyyy. I love you with every fiber of my being and from the bottom of my heart. I will really miss you, and I will never ever forget you! Daddy! E SUN RE O, E ma gbagbe awa omo yin o, REST IN PERFECT PEACE.

( FEB 01 1927- JUN 02 2010).

What is Love?

It’s February, and the 14th day of this month is noted “Lovers day". It has been this way since AD 500. There are stories which come in different versions that tell how this day was originated, and I just say go with any story that appeals to you the most! I personally think it’s cute the little things people do for each other on Valentine’s Day, the flowers, cards, candy, surprises and all of that stuff. I remember very clearly the note in the card I got from my last valentine a line said "I know the smallest things matter the most to you, so I hope this card means a lot to you" another line said "I hope to make your next valentine bigger and better". Hahahaha too bad there wasn’t a "Next" valentine for both of us. At that time, I really thought what I had was love and I expected it to last for a long time if not forever. I guess my definition of love at that time was having a guy call u 'BABY', spend every leisure with you, call you every now and then, say sweet things to you and just be next to you at every point you need a shoulder to lean on. I saw love as mainly a boy/girl or man/woman affair and also meeting someone or seeing a person of the opposite sex that makes your heart skip, or makes you have butterflies in your tummy is when you know you have found love. Hummmm how ignorant! As years went by, and I flashed back to the situations I saw as "love", I realized that that it couldn’t be love and there really should be more to it that what I assumed. I began to research and question love question love, which is the reason for this note today. What really is this thing called Love? The first response I get every time I ask this question is 1 Corinthians 13:4-7"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres". I thought of this verse as very interesting, I remember me saying “This is deep mehn!” And I thought if this is the definition of genuine love, have I really ever loved and have I ever been loved? I read further about love and I discovered love was in categories, first the love known as "erotic love". It is based on strong feelings toward another, which is usually between a man and a woman. The second was Philos love which is the kind of love based on friendship between two people regardless of their sex. And lastly, Agape love, which is the greatest love of all. It is a love that is completely selfless. It is where a person gives out love to another person without any anticipated reward. Whether the love given is returned or not, the person continues to love and has no self benefit. Its interesting how much I did not know about love and how much detail I had always left out about it. I tried to categorize my love for the people close to me that is family and friends. It was a little hard for me because I could not decide who I wanted to put where. I can honestly say that at some point in my life love has failed me, having no fatherly love, having a friend disappoint me, having a romantic relationship that didn’t last and so on. I wondered how I had made it through in all this situations and not until then did it dawn on me that love could only be whatever it is that Christ has for me, because that is the only love I can honestly say has never failed me. I remember as a child I doubted the love my mother has for me whenever I am being scolded and not until I matured and was exposed to the reality of life did I realized that it is love and I should be thankful for it, and on the other hand, that love cannot lay her life for me. Christ laid his life for me, his love showed me light in darkness, it believed in me when I thought I couldn’t amount to anything, it was with me even in my unfaithfulness and when I was unworthy of it, it gave me faith when I lacked confidence, it showed me beauty when I saw otherwise, it gave me hope when I though all was gone and it loved me even before I knew me. I have had love with me all my life and failed to realize, I have come to the conclusion that there isn’t a definition for love. Love is what you call it; love is what it is, To Yimidivine LOVE IS CHRIST AND CHRIST IS LOVE.

Healing wounds.

I have realized that each individual has various questions on their mind that they are unable to answer. Some have gone out of their way to seek answers and the response turned out to be that there are some questions that just cannot be answered by any man at all. Many situations arise in life and they seem very unexplainable. My focus now lies on the horrifying incident that happened on 12th of January. How does one explain a natural disaster only 12 days after transitioning to a new year. A disaster that claimed thousands on lives, rendered people homeless, caused others to be childless,widows, widowers and orphans. Words cannot even begin to describe how tragic this incident is. I cannot even ask the question "why" because whether or not a reason is given, the deed has already been done and lives cannot be restored. No matter how sad and sorry people feel about the situation, it cannot be compared to how the families that were involved feel. As difficult as it may be to be thankful in this situation, that is the only thing that could be recommended. I honestly don't know how one could be consoled in such a situation, only God can console every victim of this horrible incident. I am really short of words, but it is a situation that should be addressed even though it is a very painful one. I would encourage every believer out there to call on God on behalf of Haiti, because he is the one that sees and knows all. As hard as it is to admit, God has a reason for this situation known to him and him alone. He is the only one that can revive and restore all that the canker worms have eaten. Let us just pray for these people as often as we can and also give what ever we are able to. This is the time to be selfless and it is also an opportunity to sow seeds and do good deeds in the lives of others. God might not always keep us away from a storm, but he will definitely keep us through every storm. I therefore pray that God keeps Haiti through this storm and revives them. I pray that the situation will build stronger people and instil faith in the lives of all the victims. I pray that there will never be a repetition of such incident and every nation will experience Gods divine mercy, because at this point Gods mercy is very crucial.
GOD PLEASE KEEP US ALL, ALSO REVIVE AND RESTORE HAITI......